Fostering Positivity: Supporting Young Athletes Through Disappointment

As a coach, I’ve seen firsthand the highs and lows of young athletes’ journeys. My personal belief is that a coach’s role extends beyond teaching the techniques and strategies of the game; we’re also there to guide our athletes through the emotional ups and downs that competitive sports can produce. As a parent, sometimes knowing which role to play can be daunting. This week, as I watch my daughter and other young swimmers compete at the National Club Swimming Association (NCSA) Championships in Orlando, Florida, I’m reminded of positivity’s crucial role in their development.

My daughter’s path to this championship is a testament to the unpredictable nature of athletic development. Earning a spot on a year-round competitive team and subsequently qualifying for a national meet was not a journey we anticipated taking only 18 months. Her swift progression through the ranks, culminating in a recent invitation to the National Development Group, reflects the dedication and effort common among many young athletes. Yet, despite these achievements, she’s also faced the universal challenge of not always meeting her expectations, particularly this week at NCSAs.

After failing to achieve the times she had set for herself on day one of the competition, her disappointment was evident as she wiped away the tears. As a parent and a coach, witnessing her struggle with these feelings has been heart-wrenching and illuminating. Our role becomes critical in these moments, and maintaining a positive outlook and providing unwavering support cannot be overstated. Every athlete faces setbacks, but how we respond to these setbacks helps shape our character and resilience. I’ve always believed in using these moments as opportunities for growth. Teaching young athletes to manage disappointment, learn from their experiences, and quickly move forward with a positive mindset is perhaps one of our most valuable lessons.

The journey in sports, like in life, is filled with peaks and valleys. My daughter’s disappointment at not achieving her desired times may seem to her like a deep valley. However, it’s essential to emphasize the peaks that got her here—dedication to training, substantial progress in a short time, and earning a qualifying time to compete at the national level. These achievements far outweigh the temporary setback and disappointment one day of competition brings!

To my fellow parents and coaches, I offer this advice: remain the steadfast cheerleader in your athlete’s corner. Celebrate their successes, support them through their disappointments, and constantly remind them of their worth beyond their athletic performance. Our belief in their potential can light the way through their darkest moments. We must also remind them (and ourselves) that progress is not always linear. Development takes time, and success is not solely measured by times, scores, or medals but by the effort, improvement, and passion they bring to their sport.

Ultimately, the goal is to develop not just athletes but well-rounded, resilient individuals who understand the value of hard work, perseverance, and positivity. Let’s help them embrace every part of their journey, learn from their setbacks, and approach their sport with joy and enthusiasm.

Here are some strategies to help young athletes stay positive despite disappointment:

• Remind them sports are fun: Focus on the joy of the sport and the love of competition. Encourage them to be great teammates and celebrate effort and dedication, regardless of the outcome.
• Encourage open communication: Create a space where your athlete feels comfortable sharing their feelings and frustrations. Listening to and validating their experiences can significantly impact their emotional recovery.
• Emphasize learning over winning: Help your athlete see setbacks as opportunities for growth. Discuss what they can learn from the experience and how to apply it to future training and competitions.
• Set realistic goals: Work with your athlete to set achievable, incremental goals that help maintain motivation and focus and provide a path forward after setbacks.
• Reframe goals based on performance: Don’t be afraid to reassess challenging situations. Not achieving a goal is not a failure but an opportunity.